Giving back to the dead
Good morning dear friends. I’m in Colorado for the first day of our annual birthday bash tour, where we celebrate and honor the life of our drummer, best friend, and brother, Brandon Carlisle. If you’re in Wyoming or Colorado please come say hi at any of our Teenage Bottlerocket’s shows!
It’s interesting thinking about how I’m older now than Brandon was when he died, or how I’m twice as old as my sister was when she died. In just over a decade, I’ll be as old as my mother was when she died. I’m not sure why some of us live longer than others, and I’m not entirely sure that it matters that much-but what I do know is that the overly used “it’s not the years in your life, it’s the life in your years” saying holds true.
I’m very certain my mother would have loved to be alive to know my wife, to see my career as a musician, and especially to know her grandchildren. I’m also sure that my mother lived a very full, rewarding life and that while cancer is a harsh way to go out, it also afforded her the time for self-reflection and spiritual growth to fully accept life and death on her own terms.
In the case of my sister, it was a very sudden, unexpected death, and being near highway 287 most certainly makes me think about that. Still, on some level, I know my sister had a full, meaningful life. She battled leukemia as a child, overcame that, then had multiple surgeries to deal with the aftermath of that disease over the years. She had to have metal devices screwed into her bones to help her arms and legs grow evenly, it was incredibly painful and difficult for her, but she made it out the other side, and she made it out an incredibly positive, loving person to boot. She was very involved in multicultural programs, so much so that the local high school still gives out a yearly award in her honor. So although her life was cut tragically short, I know she had meaning and purpose.
Brandon died suddenly as well, and again, while we would certainly give anything to have him back with us, I often reflect on the last year of his life. The band was on the billlboard charts, touring all over the world, truly enjoying the success of following our dreams. The last conversation I had with Brandon was nothing but joy. Brandon really lived in the moment, and he died in the moment, which I suppose, is as much as any of us can really hope for.
So as I spend a week in my old stomping grounds, trying to live fully, with purpose and meaning, and most of all, ENJOYING the day I’ve been given, I would like to invite all of you to take a moment and reflect on the loved ones you’ve lost. Reflect on the ways their presence enriched your own life, think about the ways you can honor them by living your life in a connected, joyful way. The greatest gift we can give the dead, is to live fully today.
Announcement: We have a new meditation and mindfulness community and you can sign up for free over at Nirodha Sangha. It’s a place where we can practice together, learn together and support each other on the path. Hope to see you there.